Exclusive Minion Benefits

If you become my minion, I swear to you we will conquer the world together, and you will stand on my right flank as we cast hellfire over the earth, or at least, what's left of it.

Plus you get a special front-seat to the main event. You also get a free whatever-you-call-this, for pet.

I don't provide social security, you won't need it.

Snow is good

I love snow, though I haven't actually got the chance to see it in person, and that it is the reason I would annihilate the northern hemisphere last.

Then I also wonder if I'd ever get to see polar bears, which wasn't currently making out with an iceberg.

And if I ever get rich I would certainly buy this house.

And then I will fall off while skiing on this side of the mountain and die, also causing a very huge avalanche.

It's a bird. It's a plane. Wait is that a donkey?

MOSCOW – Russian authorities are starting up an animal cruelty probe and making it into a beach stunt every weekends in southern Russia.

The main attraction in the said event, none other than a donkey!

Yep, although I don't know what's with Russian and donkeys all of a sudden, but yes, they even released a video footage of a trembling mule attached to a harness, parasailing. Russia Today, a news channel, reported sunbathers watching in awe and distress as this cruel donkey stunt unfolded.

The poor donkey surivived but was undoubtedly in-shock–greatly in shock. Imagine gliding for half an hour, and you are a donkey, wouldn't that be shocking? That goes against donkey rights, if one even existed.

While these people are crazy and they should rot in hell, you gotta give them the props. They do know how to pull a stunt and make real news.