It's a bird. It's a plane. Wait is that a donkey?

MOSCOW – Russian authorities are starting up an animal cruelty probe and making it into a beach stunt every weekends in southern Russia.

The main attraction in the said event, none other than a donkey!

Yep, although I don't know what's with Russian and donkeys all of a sudden, but yes, they even released a video footage of a trembling mule attached to a harness, parasailing. Russia Today, a news channel, reported sunbathers watching in awe and distress as this cruel donkey stunt unfolded.

The poor donkey surivived but was undoubtedly in-shock–greatly in shock. Imagine gliding for half an hour, and you are a donkey, wouldn't that be shocking? That goes against donkey rights, if one even existed.

While these people are crazy and they should rot in hell, you gotta give them the props. They do know how to pull a stunt and make real news.

McDonald lawsuit over happy meal toys

Washington - A group of Happy Meal haters are suing McDonald's for deceptive happy meal toys.

Do you remember as a kid how you nagged your mom to grab you a McDonald just so you can have the latest happy meal toy and add it to your collection? I do certainly.

Now that is being a topic of debate among the concern community. A local group is saying that this kind of marketing strategy is deceptive, unfair, and unnecessary. For the same basic reason, they are saying McDonald is using children, drawing them in with toys to gain profit, and (furthermore) overlooking health issues their food has to children.

A big yes to that. This group, Center for Science in the Public Interest, are saying that McDonald is being deceptive over its customers, and that their food is making children overweight and unhealthy. As the story goes, the children are ignorant enough of the food they eat when they eat it only to get a happy meal, and, their parents are being forced or otherwise they'd have to deal with fits and tantrums.

Besides this setting a bad moral example for other children, group says, American children are being bound to early health related issues. To prove this, the group presented detailed studies about obesity in children.

The center has filed dozens of lawsuit against fast food companies since the last few years. Presently they are hoping this latest lawsuit will threaten and push McDonald to negotiate. And of course, it will trigger a chain reaction as other food companies they had filed before will try to be more polite on the issue.

As of now, the group has sent McDonald a letter of 30 day probation on the subject, and, in that period of time McDonald should stop selling Happy Meal toys. Which, doesn't sound very happy.

William Whitman, McDonald's Vice President in Communications, released a company statement implying they "couldn't disagree more." He further clarified (in disagreement) that McDonald's restaurants sell more than just happy meals, which by the way are only for kids.

Within that 30 day given time frame, McDonald is expected to deal with the case and we (happy meal fans) are yet to see how this whole issue turns out.

Angry anger management counselor pulls out gun

Alexandria, VA. -- An anger management counselor gets angry and pulls out a gun over a traffic fight between two men, who (so unfortunately) are U.S. Marshals.

Jose Luis Avila is fifty-seven year old, and works as an anger management counselor. Avila was charged with assaulting a federal officer. Later this year he pleaded guilty and was sentenced to one year imprisonment.

As the story goes, Jose Luis Avila was just passing by the marshals on his drive home. Avila honked at them as they were blocking the road and, after one of the officers gave him (the obscene gesture), Avila pulled out a loaded hand gun.

In the span of 12 months Avila will undergo anger management programs (with another anger management counselor, who should be doing the job better than him).

Sloppy thief nabbed by doughnut

Australian burglar arrested because of evidences obtained from a Krispy Kreams doughnut.

AUSTRALIA-Jamie Scott McKillop was accused and arrested due to multiple counts of robbery after evidences obtained from sweets pointed to him.

It may sound like a dumb story you’d see in a comedy film, but still true. Jamie Scott has a sloppy habit of leaving half eaten sweets behind for every household he robs. On occasion he would leave a can of Coke, sometimes empty an bottle of liquor. This time, it was a half eaten Krispy Kreams doughnut.

After DNA tests, police had confirmed and had taken Jamie to custody to await a term of 17 year imprisonment. According to Justice Peter McClellan, Jamie Scott McKillop is being accounted to a total of 154 robberies since 2005. He added, it’s no surprise that Mr McKillop wasn’t concerned about leaving trails. After all, he has avoided authorities for all accounts mentioned.

If you’re a thief, graverobber variety or whatever, let this set an example so you don’t get busted.

Peace out! Leave a comment! It’s a must for doughnuts.

Lovesick male llama chases female llama

Assaults are not limited to humans, female llamas get traumatized too.

GIFHORN, BERLIN – A quote and quote “lovesick” llama assaulted a female llama–who tried so desperately to run for her life. God, she was more freaked out than your mom.

If deer in the headlights is a popular phrase, get this: lovesick llama chase, or this one, llama in the highway.

According to ever-so-dutiful policemen, the female llama was chased by her prospective mate after she refused to have consensual sex. The male llama came over too aggressive and lady llama freaked out. Scared like hell, she ran accross a busy German motorway.

Police spokesman Thomas Reuter said she was in state of panick, trying to save her skin from the lovesick llama.

I mean, who wouldn’t? Even suicidal people will flinch when chased by a horny llama.

Until now, the female llama hasn’t been over the whole incident, and she is deeply traumatized. She’s currently being taken care of in a rehabilitation center for sexually abused llamas, but I don’t think much of that will help.

Being chased by a madman is one thing, but a lovesick not to mention horny llama? How does anyone move on after that!?

Alligator takes a late night prawl

Berlin, Germany – Alligator went beyond the cosmic rules of alligators and took a stroll at the late night streets of a small German town.

What’s with this racist people (I’m not sure if racist is the term) more like…creature-ist people? Don’t alligators have the right to take a walk and get some fresh air, gaze upon the stars or, go a night out with friends on the red light district? It’s a free world. We should let them. Aligators are not dangerous. They don’t eat you alive…well, theydo, but that’s not the point!

Anyways in Berlin, Germany an aligator went beyond the cosmic rules of alligators and took a stroll at the late night streets of a small German town.

Gross-Rohrheim enforcement got the call 2 a.m Thursday after a bystander poked the alligator eye with a stick and it eat him whole. Honestly, that part part is made up. So this bystander calls the police and says an alligator is on the prowl for hookers. The hookers part wasn’t made up.

Police spokesman Ferdinand Derigs said, “First they broke out laughing.” What incompetent enforcers! What has the world came to? When you get an alligator phone call, you don’t laugh, you go there and save the day and then you laugh, okay! Gaining back his credence, Ferdinand said here in this state of Hesse, “we’re ready for anything that comes running our way.”

In a splitsecond, two officers were dispatched half expected to end up in the tummy of our little Godzilla. But on extreme cosmic luck, they captured the 30 foot, excuse me, 3.3-foot long alligator with a dog rod, the one that dog pound uses.

Police said, “the alligator was taken into custody.” Did they mean jail? Gosh, that’s one hell of a prison riot. I wonder who’s going to solitary. No seriously, the alligator had escaped from a stage play (circus to be precise) being held at a nearby school. Police turned the alligator back soon after.