Exclusive Minion Benefits

If you become my minion, I swear to you we will conquer the world together, and you will stand on my right flank as we cast hellfire over the earth, or at least, what's left of it.

Plus you get a special front-seat to the main event. You also get a free whatever-you-call-this, for pet.

I don't provide social security, you won't need it.